The Journey to Becoming a Writer
With the change of seasons I've been catching myself reflecting often on the ways my life is different since leaving education. So much of my identity was wrapped up in being a teacher. Learning to let that go and figure out who I am now, at almost 39, is definitely a process.
I cannot emphasize enough how hard it was for me to email in my resignation letter for my teaching position. I sat with my finger hovering over the mouse to click 'send' for what felt like an eternity. I had a vision for my new life, but it was only beginning to take hold. I knew I wanted to move towards it, but when it's unclear, that's a very scary thing to do. I felt prepared, but severely unprepared all at the same time. But now I understand there is no perfect arrival, no set destination, no real finish line. I simply know that every day I am working to fulfill new limits I set for myself.
When I encounter new people (which is often since enrolling my children into a new school district and sports teams) and they ask me what I do for work, I would always start by saying, "I used to be a teacher." It was my comfort, my safety net. In my mind, it gave them an idea of the qualities of my personality, but now that I haven't been in the classroom since May 2023, it feels antiquated to start off the description of myself with that fact, and doesn't feel as true to who I am now.
So, what do I say based on what I've done the past two years? Do I say I'm an author? My kids certainly like to tell people that their mom is writing a book. It's adorable when they share that, gives me the confidence to say it, too! But they also don't really understand what it entails, just that I don't go to work at a school anymore.
I wrote a four hundred page first draft, started my author newsletter and Instagram, work freelance as a Spanish curriculum designer and blog ghostwriter, and help run my husband's company, Wohlsdorf Builders. Additionally I am the household manager, schedule keeper, grocery getter, chauffer, chef and maid. :)
The journey to becoming an author while being a stay at home mom has required me to embrace every chaotic part of my life and develop a new identity. I've spent a lot of time thinking about who I am now. I've had to examine my habits---I was a serious type A most of my life, but now I think I might be type B, get over self-doubt, and forge a path into the unknown. I've had to discipline myself, but also know that when I push myself to write when I'm not in the creative zone it doesn't turn out well. I've connected with family members and friends in new ways. As my brain has left "teacher mode" I realize I engage in conversations differently as I interact with the new reality I have created for myself. I'm seeing things with a fresh perspective.
Leaving my old comfort zones behind has been one of the hardest, but best things I've ever done. Simply put, in becoming an author, I've learned my new identity.
In the words of Brianna Wiest, "The gap between where you are and where you most want to be will be filled by the person you become---and that is why we have dreams in the first place. We reside, always, at the edge of everything---all of the past behind us, all of the potential in front."
I know more changes are to come as I put my work out into the world, but I'm also really excited to see what the future will bring!
As always, thanks for being along for the journey!
